Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Kitten/Cat Caucus on Edie's First Year

We last sat down with the Kitten/Cat Caucus over a year ago when we first broke the news of our baby to our cats, Onslow and Pauline. It's been a roller coaster ride since then for the Kitten/Cats, a roller coaster of peeing on stuff and sleeping.

I caught up with the Kitten/Cat Caucus for a frank discussion between naps.

Kris: Hey guys. How have you been?

Onslow: Well, to tell you the truth, things are going pretty well. I like that little human of yours. What's her human name? Ee-dee? Ha! Your language is something else. I call her (emits ugly meow) which, in your language means something like "one who smells of milk, drops green food and grabs fur on occasion." She makes life around here dynamic and exciting, which is fitting for a cat like me. Yes, things are going quite well for old Onslow here.

Pauline: (Under her breath) Well sure, when you get all the good window seats whenever you stinkin' please.

O: What was that?

P: Everything's great!

K: Edie's a year old now. I know there was a big period of adjustment when she started to crawl and chase you around, but how have things gone since then?

P: I go away. Far, far away. As far as I can get.

O: That kitten human is such a little rascal. You know, she reminds me of myself at that age, precocious and ready for mischief. Ha! I was quite the rambunctious kitten!

P: (Mocking Onslow under her breath) I was quite the rambunctious kitten, blah blah blah.

O: What was that?

P: I said 'ha ha ha!'

O: Like me, Edie seems ready to grab the world by its horns and really let herself shine. She's capable of anything, you know, just like me. If she had sharp claws, excellent hunting and fighting skills, striking fur, and a roar that makes the house shake, why, we'd be the same cat!

P: (Mocking Onslow under breath) We'd be the same cat, blah blah blah.

O: Hey, you know what! Shut up. Shut up!

P: I. Am. So. Sick of you. Pushing me around! My fur is clumping because of you!

O: No, your fur is clumping because you spend all your time talking to Ceiling Cat instead of grooming! You see this fur? Do you see this fur? That doesn't come from just laying around for 22 hours a day. That comes from laying around 21 1/2 hours a day and spending a half and hour giving a crap about my appearance. And, not for nothing, but did you eat the last of the food last night?

P: No. Uh. The humans did it?

K: Don't drag me into this.

O: You're lying. (Turning to me.) Do you see this? Do you see how she treats me? Speaking of, do you have any treats?

P: Oooh! Treats!

K: Uh, sure. Treats. Here you go. (Hands them treats.)

P: Wow, look at this. We are just burning through 3rd afternoon nap time.

O: Yeah. Human, go over there so I can sit here. Scootch over. I want to do some Cat Tai Chi'h and really stretch out.

K: Ok then. Good talk, guys.

Both snoring. Yes, they snore.

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